Hello to the wonderful class of ES2007S (Group 4),
As my proposal group (Drug Inc) has just ended our presentation on improving the participation rate of NUS orientation. I was hoping that we could use this particular opportunity to garner feedback on our concept of our proposal and group presentation.
Of course, feedback on my individual presentation section would be greatly appreciated.
Hi Jonathan
ReplyDeleteIt was an interesting proposal to say the least. My own group actually also thought of introducing a module type approach for our RAG conundrum. We however thought that it would be too much work and would be most probably be shot down mercilessly. Kudos to you and your team for forging ahead with what others (my team and I) thought might be too difficult a task.
Your presentation was lively and fun. It was all-round engaging and your body language concurred. I would however not encourage too much movement especially for the scenario of the oral presentation. The setting was one of a formal proposal presentation so maybe something more subdued would be better? Not that you cannot be lively and/or engaging but I think you need to do it within the limits befitting the audience you address.
Your verbals were excellent. Volume was loud and clear. It drew the audience to you with an aspect of authority and extruded confidence. This made your entire presentation believable and trustworthy. I felt however, you were rushing through you speech. Perhaps to slightly slow down your pace would be even better. Slowing down also allows you time to think about what next you are going to say. Also, the repetitive use of the word ‘itself’ could be lessen. You seem to be putting it after almost anything that is self-referencing. In addition to what I posted on WeeBoon’s blog, I had to assume who we were since it was not clearly established. I felt that you were perhaps flirting with casualness under the assumption that you were addressing the NUS excellence unit. I would recommend a little more formality since it is a very business-like proposal. Also you referenced the previous group’s proposal. I don’t think this would be encouraged simply because it may show that you have to rely on someone’s work to validate your own.
I however still hold that it was a good and enjoyable presentation. It was clear and the transition between team mates was good. Evidence was provided to substantiate your proposal which provided weight to what you were saying. No doubt you guys were working short handed, so it was really a job well done. :)