Application for NUS NOC Programme: http://www.overseas.nus.edu.sg/forStudents_applyForTheProgram.htm
Tiong Fang Han, Jonathan
967xxxxx
tioxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
2 September 2010
NUS Overseas Colleges
21 Heng Mui Keng Terrace
Level 5, Singapore 119613.
Dear Sir/Madam,
Application for the NUS Overseas College Programme
I am enclosing my resume in response to your call for application for the NUS Overseas College (NOC) Programme which appeared in your website.
I am currently a 3rd year undergraduate student pursuing the Bachelor of Science, majoring in Life Sciences, with a strong interest in entrepreneurial activities and in hope of one day be involved in materialising my very own start-up business.
An entrepreneur is not born overnight, but is nurtured through various opportunities. In the past 4 years, I have constantly exposed myself in diverse working environment to build on my soft skills such as management, creativity and confidence as an individual. In addition, my working experiences have also gave me the opportunity to deal with conflicts that might possibly arise from people of different nationalities, cultures and even physical disabilities. All of these could be essential skills if I were to be selected to be part of the NOC programme.
Although I do not have any direct involvement in formulating a new product, I do however believe I possess the traits of an entrepreneur. Currently a 3rd year hall resident in one of the 6 halls of residence in NUS, I have managed to secure a place in my choice of hall for 3 consecutive years despite the retention rate being 50% of the current residency population. Being able to thrive in a highly competitive environment, my ability to converse fluently in both English and Chinese has proved to be advantageous, especially in my tenure as Stage Manager of Kent Ridge Hall Production, where I had to manage a crew of 150 from different nationalities and background. In addition, being involved in an original musical production, I had no previous manuals in which I could fall back on, and often had to make decisions based on calculated risks.
Learning from the experiences of past participants of the NOC programme, I am assured that your well structured programme has not only allowed graduates of the programme a lasting memory but has also witnessed numerous successful start-ups throughout the years. I would hope to be given the opportunity to be part of this privilege programme and like the rest, share my personal conviction to inspire others. I look forward to your favourable reply.
Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Jonathan Tiong (Mr)
Hey Johnathan,
ReplyDeleteGood luck for your application for NOC! Are you seriously applying? Where to? Sweden or Bio or SV?
How's interview?
Just a quick critique here for you:
1. For paragraph 3, you did not mention specifically your working experience and the soft skills you obtained. It may boost confidence of the reader of you if it was backed up with examples.
2. "Although I do not have any direct involvement in formulating a new product" - may not be appropriate to put in negative openings as advised by Brad. Sort of reveal unnecessary weakness.
3. 150 crew members - this is an impressive account of your ability. should include more ^^
All in all, there is lack of 'shout-out' from your personal voice. The reader may not be able to feel the passion, the hunger, the desire from you.
From experience and insights I gathered from seniors and friends, they are looking for really really passionate people so just show your passion man!
Hi Jonathan,
ReplyDeleteA rather concise letter. However, I feel that it is not concrete enough. It would be better if you share a little more about your experience that developed the qualities that you possessed.Like Yongxin had mentioned, the desire to go for the NOC is not "strong" enough to convince me that you are really eager to go.
P.S. Just a reminder to add in the NOC application ad as requested by Brad during lesson.
Hi jonathan,
ReplyDeleteYour application letter is concise and coherent. It demonstrates your intentions without any ambiguity. You have very rightly showcased your abilities and talents as an problem solver and manager (by the way congratulations on the production).
I would however have to say that, after reading your letter I feel that you are trying to put yourself across more as an entrepreneur rather then as an applicant of the NOC program. Your currently letter would have been more suited for programs such as iLead, an entrepreneur cum startup program. I think you should have stated more on your independence and self-reliance as these are traits NOC applicants would have to posses as they have to work and study at the same time.
Daniel. :)